Watch the Backstreet Boys' comeback on Dancing With The Stars

Bukkake.

We had a choice today, ScopiSubjects.  There's a delightful new tune by a delightful new artist that sounds a bit like Miley's 'Party In The USA' but more credible, and our original plan was to write all about that in honor of it being ACTUALLY COMFORTABLE FOR HUMAN KIND in the out of doors, finally.  That song made a perfect choice for today's article - summery and fun and just indie enough to make us look like we're "in the know."  But then we saw this.  And it is terrible.

We were faced with a conundrum.  Go on and on about a cute but ultimately forgettable tune that no one will listen to, no one will care about and that will limp to number 37 in Belgium, or indulge in our favorite pasttime - snarkily throwing aging popstars under the bus for greedily pursuing their passions.

I think we all know which one we chose.

Yes there was a time (read: a week ago for about an hour or something) when we were SUPER EXCITED (read: mildly interested) by the NKOTBSB supergroup idea, not least of all because when you read out the name it actually says "New Kids On The Backstreet Boys" which is AMAZING.  Their single was actually not terrible in a throwaway midtempo ballad sort of way, and of course we never really object to looking at most of them.  But the whole point of this crazy endeavor is to sell tickets to the worldwide tour the lads will soon embark on, so we respectfully reserved judgment until we saw them all jam out with some microphones on a stage.  And last night that exact thing happened on the inexplicably popular 'Dancing With The Stars.'

Now, to be fair, this is only the Backstreet Boys portion of the supergroup - performing their RATHER BRILLIANT TUNE 'I Want It That Way.'  But, again in all fairness, they are the portion of the superband who should be the best anyway - they have been recording and performing together nearly the whole time since their heyday, while the members of New Kids have been buying up used car lots or something.  So if this is the BETTER HALF of the supergroup, we are just a bit worried.  Because this is not good.

Not good at all.

Nick Carter's New Years Resolution is to have a career - watch the premiere of his 'One Kiss' video now!

I'm thinking of a number....

The shocking thing about this is not that former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter has a song.  Rather, it's that Nick Carter has a song that is ACTUALLY VERY GOOD.  We're genuinely taken aback that it is not some faux R&B shit-hop mess, and as a result of our shock we really don't have a lot to say about it.

So here's the video for it - a slightly-out-of-focus 'artsy' thing that is adequate at least and good at best, but does accomplish the important feat of showing us that Nick is no longer fat.



Well done, Nick.  Well done indeed.