Alexandra Burke is back with BONA FIDE CLUB BANGER 'Elephant' - listen now

...you've got something on your lips, dear...

Alexandra Burke has had quite a time of it hasn't she?  She burst onto the pop scene as winner of the UK X-Factor in 2008, and has since tallied up 3 number 1 singles and a chart topping album.   She was the first female solo artist to sell a million copies of a single, and sold 105,000 copies of her debut track...in a single day.

But as is the way in these fast-moving times, things got a bit wonky toward the end of her first album's campaign.  Granted, it was the sixth single from the parent LP, but final release 'Silence' only limped to #16, and many started wondering if Alex's follow up album would suffer from the dreaded sophomore slump.

Well it's about time to find out, as the lead single from Ms. Burke's second record is finally here.  'Elephant' is an of-the-moment donkfest of the highest order, with a thumping beat and bubbly bassline.  But while that formula once nearly guaranteed chart success thanks to the dance music craze, one can't help but feel that Alexandra is jumping on the bandwagon just a bit too late.  In fact, we're pretty sure that 2012 will be the year that the current manifestation of club music jumps the shark and is replaced by some random underground oddity that will be co-opted by an up and coming pop act. 

Only time will tell whether Alexandra's foray into poppers-o-clock pop will prove successful, but at the very least we get a jam of a song out of it.

The new Alexandra Burke video is a lubed up torso-fest that is so tragically bad it is actually very good - watch 'Don't Let Me Start Without You' now!

SETTING:  The interior of a grubby Hoxton studio flat.  A number of strapping young rentboys room together here, in their time off from being tied up in Boy George's basement.

                   *Phone rings*

Casting Person:  "Hello, can I speak to (Miguel/J'Syn/Other model-ly male name) please?"

Model:  "Speaking."

Casting Person: "Congratulations, you've got the Alexandra Burke video gig!"

Model:  "Hurrah!  Now I can pay off my crippling chest-wax debt!  Tell me, what can I expect when I arrive?"

Casting Person:  "Some lights left over from an old ad campaign, a bit of glitter foil and a sub-par catering table, I'm afraid."

Model:  "I see.  Well, at least there will be food.  Though I don't eat very much.  I am a model, you see.  What should I wear?"

Casting Person:  "Just jeans will be fine."

Model:  "Okay jeans and t-shirt, got it."

Casting Person:  "No. Just jeans."

Model:  "Ah.  And what sort of rehearsal will there be?"

Casting Person:  "Unfortunately we spent the bulk of our budget on the lights and foil I was telling you about.  So, the choreography will have to be learned over the course of about 20 minutes, primarily from a dated aerobics workout tape."

Model:  "Hmm.  Well, all that aside, it's still Alexandra Burke isn't it, so I'm rather excited even so."


Casting Person:  "Yes, I can understand that, but I feel you should know that she will be dancing alongside you in the clip"

Model:  "Oh. This isn't going to be very good, is it?"

Casting Person:  "No."


SCENE