Ke$ha is the new QUEEN OF $OUL in her new video for "We R Who We R" - watch the premiere now

Something truly magical has happened, ScopiSubjects.  And we are all lucky enough to be alive today to witness it.  Thanks to the release of this video coupled with the magic of the interwebs, we will all someday sit in our flying wheelchairs and relate to our children's children just where we were when we first saw Ke$ha look GOOD.

We know you are doubtful.  We know this throws your worldview into pandemonium.  But it's true.  Someone - somehow - convinced everyone's favorite louse-house to shower and put on some makeup that didn't come from Avril Lavigne's garbage bin, and we hate to say it but the girl scrubs up pretty damn good.  Sure it's in a totally Eurotrash way, and - in this video, at least - as soon as you get past the fact she is wearing deodorant you are suddenly struck with the stark reality that Ke$ha CANNOT DANCE, MOVE, OR MAKE A CONVINCING FACIAL EXPRESSION TO SAVE HER LIFE, but if this girl is going to keep assaulting our consciousness with tunes we'll take any improvement we can get.

The clip itself is super sparkly and such - it starts with an ACTUAL BIG BANG, symbolizing either the "beginning of life and the universe," or "how Ke$ha got a record deal" (see what we did there) depending on your interpretation, and then flashes (quite literally) into a by-the-numbers trip to THE CLUB and THE STREETS.

We're still not loving the song, and we still think she probably smells like cat pee up close, but in the interest of positive reinforcement we would like to say:

"THANK YOU KE$HA, FOR TAKING A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.  Here is an award for showering" 

"We R Who We R" is out now in the US and elsewhere, and will be released January 11 in the UK.